I'm sure these will be quite useful...

The Popcorn Fork
Don't like butter on your fingers? Well, this would still be too out-of-your way, but hey, who doesn't respect the sheer cool-ness power of a popcorn fork? I mean, seriously.

"Children's Stories"
Good, wholesome stories for kids... ok, not really...
I'd rate the ones I've read with 'G' for content and an 'A+' for comedy.
Of course, I still feel like I'm reading an 'R' rated story when I read these... there's just something... 'wrong' about them...
In a good way though ;P